Understanding Complex Trauma: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment

Introduction

Trauma isn’t just what happened to us—it’s about something that lingers in us, shaping how we see ourselves, how we move through the world, and how we connect with others. If you’ve ever felt stuck in patterns you can’t explain, overwhelmed by emotions that seem too big, or numb in the moments when you know you should feel something, you’re not alone. These responses are not your fault, and they’re common for those who have experienced trauma.

Many people don’t realise that what they’re experiencing is trauma, particularly if it’s complex trauma. This post will break down what trauma really is, how it impacts our minds and bodies, and what healing can look like.

What is Complex Trauma?

Complex trauma isn’t about one painful event. It’s about the repeated, ongoing harm we experienced, often within a relationship we were supposed to be safe in. It occurs when someone endures repeated emotional, physical, or psychological distress. Often, complex trauma is developed in childhood within the context of the relationship with the parents. These experiences don’t just fade in time. They shape your identity (or lack thereof), how you trust others (or don’t), and how you interact with the world (or don’t).

Unlike other types of trauma, complex trauma especially impacts a person’s entire sense of self. This impact rewires the brain and nervous system, making trust, safety, and self-worth difficult to grasp.

If you struggle with constantly feeling on edge, find it hard to trust others, or believe deep down you are “too much” or “not enough,” these could be signs of complex trauma.

Symptoms of Trauma

Trauma doesn’t always present itself in obvious ways. In fact, it can show up in ways we may not expect. It can be subtle, hiding in the everyday patterns of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This can look like:

• Saying yes, when you really want to say no

• Feeling guilty for taking up space

• Becoming a chameleon in relationships — changing who you are based on who’s around

• Feeling numb during exciting times in life

• Over-explaining yourself because you don’t trust your own voice

• A sense of constantly waiting for people to judge/reject/abandon you

Of course, this can also be accompanied by more recognizable ways, such as:

• Emotional Symptoms: Chronic shame, mood swings between high highs and low lows, persistent anxiety or feeling “on edge,” or a deep fear of abandonment

• Physical Symptoms: Unexplained chronic pain, fatigue, or trouble sleeping

• Relational Symptoms: Struggles with intimacy (be it fixation or avoidance), distrust of kindness, avoidance of conflict, or feeling like you’re “too much” or “not enough” (maybe even both)

  
  

It’s important to understand that these symptoms are not personality flaws or bad habits—they are real survival responses. They are the ways your mind and body tried to protect you in situations where you felt unsafe. These coping mechanisms were your attempt to navigate a world that wasn’t kind, and they’re not something to feel ashamed of.

Trauma and the Brain: Why It Feels Like You’re Stuck

Do you ever feel like you can’t “move on?” That’s because trauma reshapes how your mind and body respond to the world, making the journey to healing feel harder than it should. This doesn’t mean you aren’t strong—it means that healing is a process, and it takes time.

• The Amygdala (Fear Center) Becomes Overactive → The Amygdala is the part of the brain responsible for scanning for threats. With trauma, our brain is constantly on guard, scanning for danger, even when none exists. This is why certain sounds, smells, or even images can trigger overwhelming feelings.

• The Prefrontal Cortex (Logic & Reasoning) is Weakened → The Prefrontal Cortex is the part of the brain we use to make decisions, regulate emotions, process conflict, and see situations clearly. When we feel threatened, this part of the brain gets less resources. Think of the brain like a highway, with the amygdala as the on-ramp and the prefrontal cortex as the final destination. If traffic is jammed at the amygdala, it reduces how much can make it to the prefrontal cortex.

• The Nervous System Becomes Dysregulated → You might find yourself stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn (people-pleasing) mode without even realizing it. When we feel threatened, this is our automatic approach to survival.

Healing isn’t about “just getting over it.” It’s about gradually teaching your body and mind that you are safe now, and that you don’t need to stay on alert anymore. It’s a process of learning to trust that the world can be safe again.

Healing from Complex Trauma: What Actually Helps?

If we think of trauma as reshaping our experience, then healing is about reshaping that experience. The good news? Your mind and body have the ability to change. Some of the most effective healing approaches include:

• Internal Family Systems (IFS): A therapy that can help you understand and heal the wounded parts of yourself through curiosity and compassion. You can read more about IFS here.

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): A unique type of therapy that helps you reprocess traumatic memories to help your body put these experiences in the past, and mind find more positive beliefs

• Somatic Therapy: This therapy (often incorporated into other trauma therapies) is about healing through releasing trauma physically stored in the body.

• Mindfulness & Self-Compassion: These techniques help you learn how to sit with your pain, and build up a sort of “pain tolerance” to allow for even more healing.

• Safe, Supportive Relationships: It cannot be understated how corrective healthy relationships can be for someone with complex trauma. If the trauma was relational, the healing should be too. (This is why a good therapeutic relationship is the basis for all trauma work).

You don’t have to live in survival mode forever. You don’t have to be defined by what happened to you. Healing is not only possible, it’s within reach. Step by step, you can begin to rediscover peace and reclaim the life that’s waiting for you. By learning to show ourselves the compassion and care we deserve, we can greatly begin to heal the wounds of our past and move forward with a sense of hope.

You Are Not Broken—You Are Healing

If you saw yourself in this post, please know: You are not alone. The way you feel makes sense. You are not “too much.” You are not beyond repair. The way you feel makes perfect sense, and with the right support, you can heal. You are deserving of peace, love, and safety.

Healing isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about rediscovering the person you were always meant to be, before trauma took you off course. It’s about reclaiming the parts of yourself that were lost along the way.

If you’re ready to take the next step, therapy can help. You don’t have to do this alone.

You can book a free consultation here.